“Free teeth for everyone East of the River.”  My friend and neighbor, Bobby, has run on this pretend platform for Governor for a decade or more.  “The River” is the Connecticut River that runs more or less down the middle of the state of Connecticut, and there is a definite “East of the River” and “West of the River” mentality, with the West holding the upper hand financially and culturally with a few town exceptions on both sides.

I am from East of the River, and not only do I have all of my teeth but I also had braces and now a recognizable broad smile. But Bobby is actually referring to far east, by the Rhode Island border, where Connecticut is substantially less affluent.

He is right on the importance of teeth.  For heath reasons, so food is properly digested.  For appearance, so better employment and social status is secured.  For proof of health, because a loss of teeth is also an example of other medical issues.

This past weekend, he brought up Connecticut’s teeth population again.  With our recent budgetary changes, those on state aid were cut to one cleaning a year which is a better compromise than what the two preceding (Republican) governors wanted to do: limit state dental services to extractions only.

“We don’t want to lose our status as the state with the most teeth,” Bobby said.  Who knew that the mouths of Connecticut’s residents boasted the most teeth per capita in the nation.  The lowest?  Sadly, the hills of West Virginia.

I wonder if Connecticut’s obsession with teeth is why my 87-year-old mother has suddenly taken to carrying my father’s bridge in her purse.  He’s been gone eleven years, but she only recently came across it in one of his dresser drawers.  Proudly displaying it to the horror of my family at a recent birthday party, she declared, “This is all I have left of him.”  Maybe for her sake, it is a good thing that he spent the money years ago to maintain that Connecticut smile.